As I sit here with a caffeine in one hand and a 3 month old in the other who likes the taste of my sweater apparently, I can not help but think about our time together. Time is such a tricky thing. When I was younger all I wanted was to grow into an adult who could make my own decisions. Ask anybody, Tory’s Fave thing to do was to be independent. I still loath being told what to do and I am 28, I literally find ways to do the opposite of the direction sometimes, #sorrynotsorry. Any who the problem is, I wanted my youth to pass so quickly that now looking back I wish I would have taken the time to appreciate more of the smaller things in life (backyard hikes, cooking with my parents, being in nature) All of these memories are frozen in my head and I am so happy that I have the ability to remember the good times and the bad times, because I learned from both.
Fast forward to now… The expected time for a new mother to go back to work is three months, just about everyone I know has done this but sooner than three months. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME SIMPLE AS THAT. I decided I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to get to know my new tiny stranger a little better, and get my mental and physical health in check. When I tell people I am not going back to work the immediate response is “you are so lucky.” To that I say yes, I am very lucky to have a family and sweet husband to support my decision to do this, however don’t think for a second that these six months will not be financially hard & stressful. I love to create and felt that that skill could help me get by. I appreciate everyone who has supported me on every creative adventure that I have started but unfortunately working for yourself is a tricky business to get into. This blog was an outlet for me to get my thoughts out because I have exhausted my trusty leather-bound journal I picked up at the Ute reservation. What I am looking for is connection here, I feel that mental health is so important with new mothers, and finding just one more person that has had a similar experience might just be the support you need. I know I could use it…
On a positive note sweet Wilder is the light of my life, every time he smiles my heart physically hurts(in a good way) I just tear up and stare at him sometimes. The miracle of life is legit and amazing and messy but wow is it rewarding. I know this sounds generic but I know it to be true. My son is the best thing that I have done in a while and I feel proud to be his mother. If anyone has any connection to these words please reach out I would love to talk.
with love
-Mountain Momma